TOEFL ライティング Independent 解答例 2 – Achieving a positive life style

本記事では、TOEFL ライティング のIndependent Task の解答例を紹介します。トピックはポジティブな生活を送るためのアドバイスについてです。

Topic: Achieving a positive lifestyle

If your friends want to change their lifestyle to achieve a positive lifestyle, which of the following suggestions would you recommend? 1. Be more disciplined and have a stronger will; 2. Work with people who share the same goals; 3. Consult a professional expert (a doctor, a nutritionist, or psychologist)

ポジティブな生活を送るためのアドバイスについて、1. – 3. のそれぞれの方法による解答例について紹介して行きます。

 1. Be more disciplined and have a stronger will

規律と意志の力によって、ポジティブな生活を手に入れる方法についての解答例を紹介します。

Essay1:

(introduction)

Many individuals become overly concerned about their personal problems and find it hard to take the step in achieving their desired lifestyle. If my friends sought advice from me, I would suggest establishing a beneficial routine and forging a strong willpower of believing in their success.

(Body Paragraph1)

Daily routines benefit people in terms of boosting their confidence. When people see an improvement over a period, they often feel a sense of accomplishment and take pride in their discipline. Eventually, these experiences significantly enhance their self-efficacy, which is one of the primary factors of driving people to engage in activities that may look daunting. Indeed, the latest psychological study discovered that achieving goals, be they big or small, significantly boost one’s confidence. Considering the risk that big goals may backfire, achieving small goals in one’s daily life is more advantageous.

(Body Paragraph2)

Furthermore, forging a strong will is vital in changing one’s mindset from a negative to positive state. Human beings are inherently more susceptible to negative information. With this nature, modern people tend to interpret their situations to be worse than what they actually are. Under such circumstances, people need to continuously remind themselves that their reality is not as bad as it seems. Indeed, the subjectiveness of positive or negative prognoses is often observed in many areas. For example, even if people are in the same income bracket, some individuals have a nagging concern about their future finance and may regard their life unsuccessful, while others are content with what they have and imagine a blissful life in the future. These instances provide evidence that interpreting things in a positive way can be more important than real lifestyles.

(Conclusion)

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the most effective counsel for achieving a positive lifestyle. In my opinion, forging one’s discipline and willpower is essential because small daily routines can boost one’s confidence and modern people need willpower to prevent themselves from becoming pessimistic.

( 321 words )

Structure

・Introduction

1 文目：トピックの背景について簡単に説明しています 。

2文目以降：トピックのパラフレーズと自分の意見を主張。

・Body Paragraph 1

1 文目：Topic sentence – Daily routines benefit people in terms of boosting their confidence – の提示

2文目以降：Topic sentence の内容について、説明していきます。

・Body Paragraph 2

1 文目：Topic sentence – forging a strong will is vital in changing one’s mindset from a negative to positive state.の提示

2文目以降：Topic sentence の内容について、説明していきます。

・Conclusion

Body Paragraph のTopic Sentence をパラフレーズしながらエッセイの要約をします。

Body Paragraph 1 → small daily routines can boost one’s confidence

Body Paragraph 2 → modern people need willpower to prevent themselves from becoming pessimistic

Key Words

Achieve one’s desired lifestyle : ―が望むライフスタイルを手に入れる

Seek advice: アドバイスを求める

Establish a beneficial routine: 自分のためになるルーティーンを確立する

Boost one’s confidence: 自信を引き上げる

A sense of accomplishment: 達成感

Take pride in X: X に誇りを持つ

Self-efficacy: 自己効力感 ( 心理学用語で自分はやればできるという感覚。専門用語を避けたいあ場合はconfidence / self-worth 等で代替可)

Daunting: 難しくて出来なさそうな

Goals ,Be they big or small, : (目標が ) 大きかろうが小さかろうが、

Backfire: 逆効果になる、裏目にでる

Their reality is not as bad as it seems: 彼らのおかれている状況を思ったほど悪くない

Income bracket: 所得層

A nagging concern: 慢性的な不安

Be content with X: Xに満足している

Opinions are divided as to X: X に関する意見は分かれている

2. Work with people who share the same goals

同じ目標を持つ仲間と働くことで、ポジティブな生活を手に入れる方法についての解答例を紹介します。

Essay2:

(introduction)

Human beings more or less have a lazy characteristic and tend to fall into a pattern of monotonous routine. If my friends sought advice on motivating themselves to live with passion, I would suggest to them to work with people who share the same goals. A shared commitment encourages them to work harder and each team member may feel a sense of fulfillment upon imbuing their team with their strength.

(Body Paragraph1)

Companionable colleagues can motivate each other to push themselves to their limits. This significantly boosts the spirits of the team as people tend to be proud of their own hard-work and look forward to the outcome of their actions. When people build a team, it often promotes a healthy competition that inspires team members to perform at a higher level than they would normally do. This brings a positive feedback loop and consequently hard-work become contagious among team members. For example, the latest surveys on Japanese YouTubers discovered that group YouTubers spend much more time toiling in editing their videos compared to solo YouTubers. Some subjects reported that they feel they cannot compromise in their roles while others are doing their best in their roles.

(Body Paragraph2)

Furthermore, teamwork provides an opportunity to realize the strengths of each member. When people are working on the same tasks, they notice that some of them have a natural talent in a specific field. This is a serendipitous moment as they may discover a greater self-worth. Indeed, when people are aware of their own talents, they are more likely to accept the talents of others, which prevents them from comparing each other excessively and feeling inferior to others due to their weak points. To illustrate this, many employees who changed their jobs from large corporations to start-ups recounted that it was an immense pleasure to work with colleagues who had the same passion of transforming society. Also, they said they liked the corporate culture that allowed each employee to focus on their strengths. This is in stark contrast to the experience of working in a large corporation where junior employees share only a tenuous corporate philosophy and are required to engage in standardized duties as merely replaceable employees for their corporations.

(Conclusion)

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the best counsel for leading a positive lifestyle. In my opinion, sharing a common goal with a team is the best solution in terms of realizing one’s own potential and boosting one’s self-esteem by discovering their natural talents.

( 412 words )

Structure

・Introduction

1 文目：トピックの背景について簡単に説明しています 。

2文目以降：トピックのパラフレーズと自分の意見を主張。

・Body Paragraph 1

1 文目：Topic sentence – Companionable colleagues can motivate each other to push themselves to their limitsの提示

2文目以降：Topic sentence の内容について、説明していきます。

・Body Paragraph 2

1 文目：Topic sentence – teamwork provides an opportunity to realize the strengths of each member.の提示

2文目以降：Topic sentence の内容について、説明していきます。

・Conclusion

Body Paragraph のTopic Sentence をパラフレーズしながらエッセイの要約をします。

Body Paragraph 1 → realizing one’s own potential

Body Paragraph 2 → boosting one’s self-esteem by discovering their natural talents

Key Words

More or less: 多かれ少なかれ、いくらか

A lazy characteristic: 怠慢な特徴

Fall into a pattern of monotonous routine: 単調な生活パターンに陥る

A shared commitment: 他人と共有されたコミットメント

A sense of fulfillment: やりがい

Push oneself to the limits: 限界まで追い込む

Boost the spirits: 気分を高揚させる

A healthy competition: 健全な競争

Perform at a higher level than they would normally do: 通常よりも高いパフォーマンスを発揮する

A positive feedback loop: 正の連鎖 (a negative feedback loop: 負の連鎖)

Toil in X: 精を出して働く

A natural talent: 持って生まれた才能

A serendipitous moment: 幸運な発見

Feel inferior to others: 他人より劣っていると感じる

Corporate culture: 企業文化

In stark contrast to X: Xとは全く対照的

Share only a tenuous corporate philosophy: 企業理念をほとんど共有していない。Tenuousは「薄い」の意味。

Engage in standardized duties: 典型化された仕事に従事する

Replaceable employees: 交換可能な従業員

Opinions are divided as to X: X に関する意見は分かれている

Realize one’s own potential: 自己実現をする

Self-esteem: 自尊心

3. Consult a professional expert (a doctor, a nutritionist, or psychologist)

それでは、次に、したがって、専門家に相談することで、ポジティブな生活を手に入れる方法についての解答例を紹介します。

Essay3;

(introduction)

Modern people can be suddenly become lethargic and dysfunctional due to changing circumstances. If my friends need to improve their lifestyles, I would recommend consulting experts as they can detect root causes of poor physical and mental health, and provide tailored solutions.

(Body Paragraph1)

It is often the case that individuals do not realize their fatigue and lethargy are deriving from malnutrition. Without sufficient vital nutrients, human bodies cannot function well, and eventually run out of energy. However, it is hard for ordinary citizens to figure out which nutrients they are lacking. Under such circumstances, it is prudent to see a nutritionist and change one’s diet according to professional advice. Indeed, the latest surveys in Tokyo discovered that a significant portion of modern Japanese salaried employees are lacking vitamin C due to their hectic lifestyles, which does not allow them to prepare nourishing homemade foods. If chronic fatigue comes from vitamin C deficiency, people cannot turn around the situation with willpower, sleep, or entertaining stimulation. Instead, they need a prescribed dose of Vitamin C.

(Body Paragraph2)

Traumatic experiences also need assistance from experts. When individuals have gone through torturous experiences, mental scars may be difficult to remedy with just a support of friends and family. This is prominent when rare and unfortunate events fall upon individuals, such as encountering terrorism, going through domestic violence, or receiving a terminal diagnosis from a doctor. Under such circumstances, sessions with a psychologist can benefit patients by changing their interpretation of events and mindset to lead a positive lifestyle in the future. Indeed, after September 11 attacks, a large number of people found it hard to regain their ordinary daily lives due to the fear of terrorism and the grief over deceased families and friends. Many of them recounted that they should have seen a psychologist earlier to alleviate their state of depression.

(Conclusion)

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the best way to achieve a positive lifestyle. In my opinion, individuals should rely on experts when they want to change their lifestyle in a positive way. This is because professionals, such as nutritionist and psychologists, can detect the root causes of one’s problems and provide effective countermeasures to turn around the situation.

( 365 words )

Structure

・Introduction

1 文目：トピックの背景について簡単に説明しています 。

2文目以降：トピックのパラフレーズと自分の意見を主張。

・Body Paragraph 1

1 文目：Topic sentence – It is often the case that individuals do not realize their fatigue and lethargy are deriving from malnutritionの提示

2文目以降：Topic sentence の内容について、説明していきます。

・Body Paragraph 2

1 文目：Topic sentence – Traumatic experiences also need assistance from expertsの提示

2文目以降：Topic sentence の内容について、説明していきます。

・Conclusion

Body Paragraph のTopic Sentence をパラフレーズしながらエッセイの要約をします。

Key Words

Lethargic: 無気力な

Changing circumstances: 変わりゆく状況

Detect root causes of X: Xの根本的な原因を検出する

Poor physical and mental health: 心身の不健康

Chronic fatigue: 慢性疲労

Malnutrition: 栄養不足

Run out of energy: エネルギーを使い果たす

Under such circumstances: そうした状況下では、

Change one’s diet: 食生活を変える

Salaried employees: サラリーマン

A hectic lifestyle:多忙なライフスタイル

Turn around the situation: 状況を好転させる

Traumatic experiences: トラウマ

Mental scars: 心の傷

Domestic violence: 家庭内暴力

Grief over deceased families: 亡くなった家族に対する深い悲しみ

Opinions are divided as to X: X に関する意見は分かれている

Nutritionist: 栄養士

Effective countermeasures: 効果的な対応策

@最後に

本記事ではTOEFL Independent writing のサンプルエッセイ(解答例)  を紹介しましたが、皆様の学習にお役に立ちましたら嬉しく思います。