TOEFL ライティング Independent 解答例3 – Advise the government of your city

Independent Writing vol3

本記事では、TOEFL ライティング のIndependent Task の解答例を紹介します。トピックは政府へのアドバイスについてです。

Topic:

Imagine that you have been allowed to advise the government of a city or region (area) that you are familiar with to spend more money on ONE thing to benefit the city or region. Which ONE of these do you believe would be the most beneficial for the city or region? Why? 1. Providing more affordable housing; 2. Reducing air and water pollution ; 3. Attracting new businesses to the city or region

Essay: 1. Providing more affordable housing

まず始めに、手頃な住宅を提供する案の解答例を紹介します。

(Introduction)

The Tokyo government Tokyo is facing financial challenges and cannot meet all the expectations from their citizens. If I were in a position of counseling them, I would prioritize supplying an increasing number of affordable dwellings for local citizens as accommodation fees occupy a significant portion of personal finance and the rampant price hikes of real estate must be harnessed by the government.

(Body paragraph 1)

Supplying affordable housing is a relief for many households facing financial predicaments. Currently, a large number of individuals in Tokyo are forced to work unsocial hours in order to make ends meet. One of the primary reasons is that accommodation fees have been rising for decades while the average salary of employees has not followed the same path. Therefore, overtime payment is needed by many employees who are unable to manage their finances with their base salaries. Indeed, when the Japanese government implemented the Work Style Reform Act to control the inhumane working culture in Japanese corporations, it faced strong backlash among a group of employees. They claimed that they would go bankrupt if the new law did  not allow them to work overtime for more than forty five hours per month. Providing inexpensive dwelling could be a game changer in this situation.

(Body paragraph 2)

Furthermore, governmental intervention is essential to prevent local residents from being exploited by mercenary real estate investors. In Tokyo, an increasing number of apartments are owned by investors who do not have any intention of living in Tokyo by themselves. They are taking advantage of huge housing demand and turn a profit by continuously raising rental prices or selling  their apartments with significant profit margins. As a result, many ordinary citizens are exploited by these capitalists, and in the worst-case scenario they have to leave Tokyo to other prefectures for cheaper housing. For example, residents in Vancouver have faced several price spikes over the last two decades due to foreign investors. Consequently, some of them decided to immigrate to other countries due to their better cost of living. This must not happen in Tokyo as the lifestyles of local citizens should outweigh mercenary businesses.

(Conclusion)

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the best counsel for utilizing a limited governmental fund. In my opinion, the government in Tokyo should focus on tackling the inflation of accommodation fees. This is because local citizens should enjoy a healthy work-life balance and governmental intervention is mandatory to protect citizens from greedy capitalists.

( 404 words )

 

Essay 2. Reducing air and water pollution

次に、水質汚染と大気汚染を減らす案について紹介します。

(Introduction)

The government of Tokyo is facing financial challenges and cannot meet all the expectations from their citizens. If I were in a position of counseling them, I would prioritize working on environmental conundrums to alleviate the health issues caused by pollution and provide safe natural playgrounds for children.

(Body paragraph 1)

An increasing number of citizens are developing chronic diseases due to pollution. In Tokyo, an immense amount of industrial and household waste is discharged everyday as the city has several clusters of industries and its population density is extremely high. Currently, the health of local citizens pales in comparison to others in rural areas, and there is ample room for improving the quality of air and water. Indeed, the latest survey discovered that people in Tokyo are more likely to develop respiratory diseases compared to that of Hokkaido. The primary cause of this result is considered to be exhaust fumes from cars as a myriad of commuters and business people rely on cars for their journey. Under such circumstances, the government should invest in technology, such as promoting ride-sharing and EVs.

(Body paragraph 2)

Furthermore, clean natural environment is the best place for children to grow up. They learn how to use their bodies in rugged ground and shallow ponds, witness the interaction of insects and flowers, and hone teambuilding skills to build sand-castles. However, there are several polluted areas in Tokyo where children are not allowed to come close to, even if these places look attractive to them. This is a pity for them as without pollution, they could explore the nature there, which may lead to a formative experience. For example, people tend to enjoy the view of Tokyo Bay, but are less likely to dive into it due to its pollution. Additionally, even if kids collect shells on the beach, they cannot bring them back home for meals due to concerns with toxic chemicals. These sad restrictions should be removed by effective governmental countermeasures.

(Conclusion)

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the best counsel for utilizing a limited governmental budget. In my opinion, the Tokyo government should invest in improving the quality of air and water to curb the number of lifestyle disease patients and ensure the safety of natural playgrounds.

( 369 words )

 

Essay: 3. Attracting new businesses to the city or region

最後に、新しいビジネスを誘致する案の解答例を紹介します。

(Introduction)

The Tokyo government is facing financial challenges and cannot meet all the expectations from their citizens. If I were in a position of counseling them, I would recommend passing regulations that benefit entrepreneurs in order to generate new employment and increase corporate tax revenues.

(Body paragraph 1)

Attracting new businesses will benefit those who are looking for job opportunities. When there are  insufficient job opportunities, many people become stuck in unemployment This is detrimental to their personal finance and mental health, as people tend to feel a sense of fulfillment in their professional roles and rely on their salaries to make a living. To alleviate these situations, governmental countermeasures are needed as individuals can hardly change the status-quo. To illustrate this, there is an intensive governmental competition to lure EV battery manufacturing factories to their cities. This is because many governments are aware that thousands of local citizens will gain stable job opportunities if these factories are constructed in their local government areas.

(Body paragraph 2)

Furthermore, an increasing number of business enterprises lead to an increasing amount of corporate tax revenues. One of the primary corporate tax sources is income tax that is levied based on the profitability of corporations. In Tokyo, the income tax rate is over thirty percent. Therefore, whenever new businesses generate profits, around one third of the profit is shared with the government. This is a great deal for the government as the cost of attracting new businesses is relatively insignificant and can be easily recovered by increased income taxes, while potent businesses will generate greater profits over decades. Additionally, there are several tax laws that require companies to pay taxes not associated with their profitability. For example, companies located in Tokyo have to pay a fixed amount of tax based on the size of their capital. This regulation secures a stable tax revenue for the government, and companies cannot eschew reducing tax payments by manipulating their bottom line.

(Conclusion)

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the best counsel for utilizing a limited governmental fund. In my opinion, the Tokyo government should invest in luring entrepreneurs in terms of supplying an abundance of job opportunities to local citizens and increasing corporate tax revenues.

( 362 words )

 

@最後に

本記事ではTOEFL Independent writing のサンプルエッセイ(解答例)  を紹介しましたが、皆様の学習にお役に立ちましたら嬉しく思います。

Arigato

 

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