IELTS Writing TASK2 Band 7.0 サンプルエッセイ

IELTS

本記事では私がIELTSのライティングセクションでBand7 を取得する直前に練習で書いたエッセイを紹介します。本番は時間のプレッシャー等で下記よりも、エッセイの質は下がっていましたので、実際のBand 7のレベルはもう少し低いと思われます。(文法のミスやボディパラグラフの展開が少しいまいちでもBan7は達成可能です。)トピックはIELTS 15 General Training 15のものを利用しています。

Topic1 – Crime Novels

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular ? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas?

You should write at least 250 words.

Essay1:

A number of crime novels and dramas have been gaining popularity among many citizens in the  global village. In my opinion, the thrilling nature of crime stories captivates readers and viewers. However, these fictional stories have detrimental effects on one’s psychology.

People are designed to pay keen attention to unpredictable circumstances. When they are reading or watching crime involving stories, they tend to envisage every possible eventuality. This imagination is extremely enticing and not replicated by other entertainments, because each optimistic or pessimistic scenario provokes a corresponding feeling. It is often the case that the vague hope of readers and viewers is instantly eradicated by an unpredictable betrayal of a character. Indeed, a recent survey discovered that popular crime fiction tends to provoke a wide range of emotions by nudging consumers to associate small incidents with signs of a happy ending or fatal consequences.

Turning to the outcomes of these fictional stories; they may unconsciously plant negative views on consumers. This is because a number of dishonest, unscrupulous actions are depicted in these stories, and consumers might perceive that these actions represent the true nature of human beings. This is particularly true for those who do not have sufficient life experiences or are inclined to have a pessimistic view on others. For example, after Squid Game gained popularity on Netflix, many school educators reported that there were spikes of violent actions among youngsters. They construed that youngsters might be susceptible to violent scenes even if they knew they were watching a fictional drama.

To summarize, crime fiction is supported by a myriad of individuals who seek emotional ups and downs. In my opinion, this is a negative development as one’s mindset could be diminished by the cruel and inhumane nature of these stories.

Topic2 – Holiday

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday.

You should write at least 250 words.

Essay2:

In parallel with the development of technology, an opportunity for traveling abroad is opened for many individuals. It is my opinion that an increasing number of people will enjoy exploring foreign countries for interaction with local citizens and affordable prices.

Many people are seeking an opportunity to interact with foreign people, who may have different values and social protocols. This is because conversing with people is the most exciting and promising way of discovering foreign culture. Indeed, it is often the case that tourists are astounded to realize the gap between their perception of their destination countries and the first-hand impression of local citizens. Having encountered this phenomenon, tourists could be hugely motivated to visit other countries to validate their preconceptions. Indeed, a famous Japanese travel agency recently reported that East Asian countries are becoming more and more popular among Japanese travelers. One of the primary reasons was that Japanese travelers were impressed by the altruistic nature of local citizens, which is hard to learn through online journals.

Furthermore, traveling abroad is becoming cheaper than domestic travel for some citizens who live in expensive counties. The primary reason for this phenomenon is affordable flights by low-cost carriers. Due to the rapid advancement of technology, aircraft manufacturers have succeeded in reducing the cost of aircraft, while increasing fuel efficiency. As a result, airline companies can turn a profit with affordable ticket prices. For example, in decades past, it was common that flight tickets from Tokyo to East Asian cities cost more than one thousand dollars for a round trip. However, modern Japanese travelers can reserve a ticket to these cities for less than three hundred dollars. Considering the exorbitant cost of accommodation in Japan, an increasing number of Japanese tourists prefer traveling abroad.

To summarize, opinions are divided as to the number of foreign travelers in the future. In my opinion, it will increase due to the excitement of interacting with foreign cultures at affordable prices.

Topic3 – Sleep

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

You should write at least 250 words.

Essay3:

An increasing number of people are sacrificing their solid sleep hours due to their hectic lifestyles. It is my opinion that the competitive nature of society drives people to work harder than is healthy, and they should be aware that health takes priority over success in their careers.

Many individuals are stuck in endless competition, where they are incessantly encouraged to aim for higher achievements. Under such circumstances, they are not content with their status and strive to overtake more privileged and talented peers. As a result, it is often the case that students keep studying overnight for better academic grades, or employees work unsocial hours to outperform their colleagues. Indeed, a recent study discovered that there is a correlation between sleeping hours and the competitive mindset. Many short sleepers recounted that they had developed these habits to maximize career success.

Turning to the solution of this prevalent social issue, individuals should be reminded that health comes first. This is because they are making their lives busier by themselves on the premise that success will make them happier. When individuals feel their school assignments or career workloads are beyond their capabilities, they should consider a less demanding career instead of sacrificing their healthy lifestyles. Indeed, a famous Japanese recruiting agency recently reported that it was not remuneration but a healthy work-life balance that had a significant impact on personal happiness. Additionally, they added that employee satisfaction levels did not change in proportion to the size and brand identity of the corporations they work for.

To summarize, excessive competition is the primary reason for a lack of sleep. To alleviate this social phenomenon, people have to be reminded that a healthy lifestyle outweighs social status in one’s well-being.

Topic4 – mobile phone apps

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasing common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages ?

You should write at least 250 words.

Essay4:

It is my opinion that the widespread usage of mobile phone apps is a positive societal shift. This essay presents both benefits and drawbacks of it, but leans in favor of my initial statement.

Looking first at the case supporting finance apps, a myriad of users are satisfied with the convenient experiences in their daily lives. These apps can be used on most public transport and in shopping centers. Therefore, they no longer need to bring cash nor go to a bank for withdrawal. Furthermore, many governments are issuing fewer notes due to the declining use in everyday transactions. As a result, governments can minimize the wastage of paper when replacing old notes for(with) new ones. For example, the Japanese government is planning to replace current notes with new ones in 2024. However, new notes will be issued in significantly smaller amounts than the previous issue, based on the prediction that modern people will not rely on notes as before.

Turning to the downsides of this development, a number of banks are issuing warning over the security of these apps. If individuals divulge their ID and password, they could be exposed to unlimited financial loss. This is because scammers could withdraw all the savings from one’s account. Indeed, an increasing number of cases have been reported, where people replied to a false e-mail requesting their ID and password. Furthermore, individuals may end up spending more than their budgets due to the convenient nature of apps. When payments are done automatically through apps, it is hard for users to realize how much they have spent in total. This is in stark contrast to cash payments, where individuals bring out a limited amount of cash, and can visually grasp how many notes and coins are left after each transaction

To summarize, although mobile phone apps entail a risk of ID hijacking and excessive expenditure, they make one’s life convenient and minimize the wastage of paper notes. Therefore, I believe the positives of these apps outweigh the negatives.

参考

IELTSのライティングについては、オンラインや出版社から様々なサンプルエッセイが提供されていますが、エッセイのトピックに適切に回答が出来れば(TASK RESPONSE) 文章構成に正解はないと感じています。サンプルエッセイを比較すると、どれが一番なのだろうと悩むと思いますが、最終的には、自分がどんなスタイルでエッセイを書きたいかというのを軸に、自分のスタイルで練習していくのが一番と思います。私はUK Plus から出版されているIELTS スペシャリストが教える総合対策のエッセイがいいなと思い、こちらのエッセイを参考にしています。( IntroductionとConclusion がすっきりとしていて、その分Body Paragraph の展開にエネルギーを割いているところが気に入っています。)

 

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