Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You should write at least 250 words.
An increasing number of people advocate that educational focus at school should be shifted to practical subjects instead of traditional ones. I completely agree with this idea as the benefit of traditional curriculums are becoming less enticing, while developing financial literacy could be useful to many individuals.
(Body Paragraph 1 )
Achieving higher academic grades at schools is becoming less beneficial. A couple of decades ago, it was considered a common way to secure stable employment. This is because large corporations preferred to hire job-seekers with an excellent educational history. However, current society has been transforming at a dramatic rate due to advanced technology, and it has become easier to be self-employed, while large corporations have found it difficult to adapt to this industrial shift. For example, a number of YouTubers who may not have studied hard at school are making fortunes. At the same time, it is often the case that Japanese traditional corporations are calling for early retirement with many of their services and products replaced by new technology.
(Body Paragraph 2 )
Among many practical skills, developing financial skills can significantly improve the quality of one’s life. As the financial budgets of the majority of people are limited, they need to make meticulous plans to manage to pay a wide range of invoices upon life events, such as marriage, parenting, and caring for the elderly. Sometimes, this planning can be more important than one’s salary. Indeed, the latest survey in Japan discovered that those who earn more than 100,000 dollars are more likely to go bankrupt compared to those who earn between 80,000 and 100,000 dollars. The primary reason for this phenomenon was that those who earn more than 100,000 dollars overestimate their salaries that are not guaranteed forever, and risk huge mortgages.
To summarize, I believe incorporating practical subjects into school curriculums is desirable in terms of adapting to changing circumstances and the necessity of sufficient financial literacy.
( 314 words )
→トピックのパラフレーズと自分の主張の提示。To what extent do you agree or disagree?と問われているため、学生のカリキュラムに実務的な科目を導入するべきという考えにどの程度賛成するか、自分の意見を主張します。
・Body Paragraph ①
→ main idea : Achieving higher academic grades at schools is becoming less beneficial.と主張。
・Body Paragraph ②
→ main idea : Among many practical skills, developing financial skills can significantly improve the quality of one’s life.と主張。
→Body paragraphs のパラフレーズ。
Enticing：魅力的な ( attractive )
Incorporate : 取り入れる ( include )
Practical subjects : 実務的な科目
Financial literacy : ファイナンシャルリテラシー
Achieve higher academic grades : 優秀な学業成績を修める
Secure stable employment : 安定的な雇用を確保する
Be self-employed : 自営業をする
Industrial shift : 産業の変化
Make a fortune : 財産を築く
Call for early retirement : 早期退職を呼びかける
Meticulous plans : 綿密な計画
Care for the elderly : 高齢者の介護
Go bankrupt : 破産
Risk huge mortgages : 巨額の住宅ローンの返済リスクを負う
Adapt to changing circumstances : 状況の変化に対応する
・Other useful expressions in IELTS Writing TASK2
Contrastingly, : 一方で、
From my perspective, / In my opinion, :私の考えでは、
Maintain : Firmly express one’s opinion と同義。意味は「強く主張する」
Aver : Say something is certainly trueと同義。意味は「―は正しいと強く主張する」
I espouse the former ( or the latter ) : 私は前者（後者）を支持する。Espouse はSupportのFormalな表現。
Having said that : However と同義。意味は「一方で」
On top of that : In addition と同義。意味は「さらに」
Under such circumstances, :こういった状況下では、
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