Many people who drop out of school are more successful than those who complete their studies. Why does this happen? What does it require to be successful?
You should write at least 250 words.
It is my opinion that school can be merely a burden for those who are extremely conscientious with their dreams. Instead, they need an environment that allows them to purely engage in their chosen ways.
Acting in a group can be anathema for those who are pursuing their own dreams. They tend to have concrete plans to achieve their goals and regard irrelevant activities as a waste of time. As a result, they may not find school activities and classes as useful and fun as other students think. On the other hand, conscientiousness is a vital characteristic to make a commitment to one’s business. Indeed, one of Japan’s most famous young entrepreneurs regrets that he went to high school, and suggests that had he not, his business could now be generating double its profit.
Identifying the catalyst of young talents’ success; all they need might be freedom and self-esteem. They are basically self-starting and come up with necessary solutions to achieve their goals by themselves. Considering their abilities, adults should focus on providing moral support that protect young talents from listening to mediocre advice, which is useful for many, but may squander their talents. What is worse, there are a myriad of adults who criticize others simply because their behaviors are out of the ordinary. Indeed, many entrepreneurs recount that they appreciate their parents who encouraged them to stick to their chosen paths, even when others provide unsolicited advice to behave like everybody else.
To summarize, school curriculums may interrupt those who pursue their dreams with commitment. In my opinion, adults should wait for their success without interfering with their actions.
( 271 words )
→トピックのパラフレーズと自分の主張の提示。Why does this happen? What does it require to be successful? と問われているため、なぜ成功者に退学者が多いのと、彼らの成功に必要なものは何かについて、自分の意見を主張します。
・Body Paragraph ①
→ main idea : Acting in a group can be anathema for those who are pursuing their own dreams.と主張。
・Body Paragraph ②
→ main idea all they need might be freedom and self-esteem.と主張。
→Body paragraphs のパラフレーズ。
Conscientious : 一生懸命な (putting a lot of effort into one’s work)
Anathema: 嫌悪感を抱かせるもの ( intense dislike )
A myriad of: 無数の ( many )
Recount: 物語る ( tell, speak )
Engage in one’s chosen way: 自分の決めた道で努力する
Pursue one’s dream : 夢を追う
A vital characteristic to – : – に必ず必要な特性
Make a commitment to – : – にコミットする
Self-esteem : 自尊心
Moral support: メンタル面でのサポート
Unsolicited advice: 求められていないアドバイス (余計なお世話 )
・Other useful expressions in IELTS Writing TASK2
Contrastingly, : 一方で、
From my perspective, / In my opinion, :私の考えでは、
Maintain : Firmly express one’s opinion と同義。意味は「強く主張する」
Aver : Say something is certainly trueと同義。意味は「―は正しいと強く主張する」
I espouse the former ( or the latter ) : 私は前者（後者）を支持する。Espouse はSupportのFormalな表現。
Having said that : However と同義。意味は「一方で」
On top of that : In addition と同義。意味は「さらに」
Under such circumstances, :こういった状況下では、
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